you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
