Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
