she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
