ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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