he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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