bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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