...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Randomize
