I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
