Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize