He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
