Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
