There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
