i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
