Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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