So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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