We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
