It's like a parade of train wrecks.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
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