who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Randomize
