let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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