He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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