How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Houston, we have a blender
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Randomize
