hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
