remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize
