I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Randomize
