no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
i was born a porn star she said
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
