But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
