its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
