if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
