State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
