The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
