forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Operation Purity has been aborted
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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