after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
