Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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