What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
