im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
