Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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