forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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