Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
