I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
