What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
