Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
Randomize
