I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
