OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Michael Bay diarrhea
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Randomize
