Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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