Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize