i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize