I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
Randomize
