apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
