1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Randomize
