At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I enjoy the company of your penis
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
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