i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
