Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Randomize
