its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
