Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
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