Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
We have started to decorate penises.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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