Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
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