Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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