he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
