Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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