why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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