My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Randomize
