I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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