There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
