I hate all girls vehemently.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize