I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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