Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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