That's when you crack a 10am beer
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
