just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
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