he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
