Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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