I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
